Parlor was originally where we intended to end our night. I'd been there before and had a really good experience, so I'd talked this place up quite a bit to everyone else. I had basically sold Parlor as the place that was going to finish the night strong.
That made what happened here a little more disappointing.
After the Bokeh disaster, Parlor was already working with a pretty low bar.
I started with the Gavin for two reasons. First, the ingredients looked genuinely interesting. Reposado tequila, Amaro Lucano, Amaro Averna, Cocchi Americano, Coke oleo and tobacco bitters. Second, my dad's name is Gavin, so I figured I had to order it.
Unfortunately, this was a drink my dad would definitely not drink.
The tobacco bitters completely overpowered everything else in the glass. Whatever balance the other ingredients were supposed to bring to the party never really got a chance. The tobacco bitters showed up, took over the room, and decided everyone else could go home.
Then came the Singapore Sling, which I ordered off menu because it's my grandmother's favourite drink. The server told me he knew how to make one, which sounded promising.
Then we watched him Google how to make it in the corner.
What arrived was very bitters-forward and, unfortunately, not drinkable. I appreciate the attempt, but I'll keep searching for a properly made Singapore Sling.
Then came Nat's three drinks, which we're going to compare to marriages.
All of them seemed like a good idea at the time.
The Little Fungi was the first marriage. London dry gin, mushroom-infused house vermouth, olive brine and umami bitters.
It failed.
The Tiny Windfall was the girlfriend. Kentucky straight bourbon, lemon, honey and Fino sherry. It was adventurous at first, but eventually lost its appeal.
The Small But Spicy was the second wife. Habanero and jalapeño-infused blanco tequila, pineapple, lime and agave. It kept you on your toes.
Two out of three ain't bad.
All three were bitter as fuck.
Then came the El Zorro Negro.
Black Fox single grain whiskey, cold-pressed coffee, banana du Brésil, demerara and cream.
The nose was fantastic. It smelled fucking good.
It was also incredibly strong and completely overpowering. I expected the coffee to come through much more than it did, but there was almost no coffee flavour once we actually drank it. The nose promised one thing and the drink delivered something considerably different.
This little fucker was very whiskey-forward and aggressively bitter. It was loud. Very loud. It felt like it was shouting at us all night.
And that was really the issue with Parlor.
Somehow, they managed to make drinks that didn't even contain bitters taste bitter.
Vermouth is already an acquired taste. I don't mind that. If you're ordering cocktails built around vermouth, you're probably expecting it to have a noticeable presence.
But bitters are there to complement a cocktail, not completely overpower it.
That was the frustrating part. There were some genuinely interesting ingredients and combinations throughout these drinks, but too often the bitterness bulldozed everything else out of the way.
And when you're paying cocktail-bar prices for drinks built around premium spirits and interesting ingredients, I'd like to actually taste more than the bitters.
The venue itself was also very loud and, given how small the space is, pretty fucking overstimulating. By the end of the night, I found myself wondering just how many other people were in there quietly powering their way through bitter-forward drinks and pretending they were enjoying themselves.
And then there was the pricing.
Some of the cocktails at Parlor are disgustingly expensive. $44 for a cocktail containing Cazcanes is a tough sell when a bottle of Cazcanes No. 9 tequila costs around $100. Some of their cocktails and ingredients get uncomfortably close to the cost of the bottles they're made from.
With all the disappointment, you'd think I got divorced again.
Because I'd had such a good experience here before, and because I'd talked Parlor up so much beforehand, I really wanted this visit to live up to the version of Parlor I remembered.
It didn't.
That said, I firmly believe this place can produce good-quality cocktails. I think we may have just gotten a server who was a little too liberal with the bitters. There were enough interesting ingredients and ideas on the menu that I don't think Parlor deserves to be written off based on one visit.
I'm absolutely open to coming back and re-reviewing it in the future.
But this visit?
It just didn't hit.
My recommendation for the future? If you're going to have a bitters-heavy cocktail menu, complimentary pretzels or Saltines should probably be served alongside it. Something salty and simple to reset the palate between drinks might actually do wonders.
I was the only salty cracker there.